Signed up to OK Cupid, eharmony has started to frustrate me, combination of lack of responses and waiting 24 hours to get new matches is driving me nuts. I'm now contemplating cancelling my subscription. Thank you eharmony for ruining an otherwise good product, you need to fire your product manager for removing guided communication.
Finally, I get to the actual talking-to-people part. There is, thankfully, no chat option available on eHarmony - though you can 'send a smile', which sort of looks like one of those stickers your first-grade teacher used to give you for meeting your reading goal. After a few months of using Eharmony, I've discovered there are several issues I have with the dating site. The main reason I don't like Eharmony is because of the cost and the fact I have no control over searching for women. In a previous blog post I discussed 10 Reasons Why I Hate Tinder and compared to Tinder, Eharmony isn't necessarily a.
I just started eharmony and it's the most confusing dating site i've ever tried. I sent a guy a communication, and it keeps saying waiting for a response, but it shows he looked at my profile. Does that mean he's 'moved on' by 'blocking me'? Or that he doesn't have the paid subscription? 3-month dating guarantee. When you use your eHarmony coupon to start your dating journey, you can feel confident that you'll find a meaningful connection with someone. Now, with the eHarmony Guarantee, if you aren't satisfied with the people you match with during your first 3 months, you'll get 3 more months of the dating service for free.
What you'll learn on this page:
- eHarmony Review: Why eHarmony is better than Match & okCupid
- Learn how to message women on eHarmony & have a date by this weekend.
- Downloadable Templates that improve responses by 800%
- See clear examples.
- The latest eHarmony discount promo code – 2015
eHarmony is perfectly suited for Men of any age who:
► Are Getting back into the dating scene after a long relationship
► Or want to start dating more attractive women
► Live in the either the United States, Canada, United Kingdom or Australia
eHarmony vs Match: Fight!
eHarmony did not start out as my favorite dating site.
But I'm in the middle of my 150 Date Challenge now and more than half of all my dates come from eHarmony and I've grown to really like it.
Don't get me wrong, both Match & okcupid are good and I use both but the results I've been getting on eHarmony are better and many eDatingDoc Academy students are having the same experience.
HOWEVER, if you don't use the site properly, you'll get crappy results.
Ahhhh, but have no fear.
Below, I've compiled all of my eHarmony specific secrets & best practices for you to use. The devil is in the details so be sure to pay close attention.
eHarmony Review: Why is eHarmony so good?
- Quality of Women
- Lack of Competition
I skeptically joined eHarmony thinking it wouldn't be very good. I read over & over again that eHarmony was a waste of time from several different PUA's (that's pick-up artists) This consistent low view of eHarmony in the PUA community is exactly what I think has made it so good. The douche PUA guys don't recommend it, so the PUA minions don't flock to it, so there is less competition and the guys that do join are just regular guys (not PUA's) that lack online dating training. So when my academy students join they dominate the website and easily meet the women they are most interested in. On top of that the women only receive a small number of matches per day so they literally can't be bombarded by messages like they are on other dating sites.
Ok, Let's get started with the eHarmony specific details:
Lesson #1: Making first contact:
eHarmony Email Tips
There are a few ways to make contact on eHarmony but you'll only use two of them.
- Quick Questions (This begins the guided communication)
- eH Mail (This skips the guided communication)
- Send a smile (Never use this)
- Secure Call (Never use this)
1. When to use the eHarmony guided communication quick questions:
Start with the quick questions if the girl is somewhat close to your 'league'.
2. When to skip & go straight to eH Mail:
Go straight to eH Mail contact option if she is a way outside of your 'league' or you are REALLY interested in her.
Note:
You know, how we give women a number, like 'WHOAH!She's a solid 10 baby!' In person, you may be a 8 or 9 but if you haven't been through the eDatingDoc Academy then your 'online number' is probably much lower. A good sign is if you are not getting responses from the women that you know would like you in person. If this is happening to you, there is a 100% chance you are doing something wrong so check this out after reading this guide.
How to use the Quick Questions with Examples
After you send your quick-questions, she'll respond and ask you 5 quick questions in return.
You could select the multiple choice answers like most guys do.
And you could pack your bags and call it a day.
Because that's why most guys fail – doing what every other guy does…
Here's what to do instead. (This is powerful so don't disregard it)
ALWAYS CHOOSE'Write your own response' (examples below)
This works SO well yet is so simple.
Always write out awesome responses.
I know, I know
This would take a ton of time if you have to write out a great response every time but you only need to write an awesome response once.
2. When to skip & go straight to eH Mail:
Go straight to eH Mail contact option if she is a way outside of your 'league' or you are REALLY interested in her.
Note:
You know, how we give women a number, like 'WHOAH!She's a solid 10 baby!' In person, you may be a 8 or 9 but if you haven't been through the eDatingDoc Academy then your 'online number' is probably much lower. A good sign is if you are not getting responses from the women that you know would like you in person. If this is happening to you, there is a 100% chance you are doing something wrong so check this out after reading this guide.
How to use the Quick Questions with Examples
After you send your quick-questions, she'll respond and ask you 5 quick questions in return.
You could select the multiple choice answers like most guys do.
And you could pack your bags and call it a day.
Because that's why most guys fail – doing what every other guy does…
Here's what to do instead. (This is powerful so don't disregard it)
ALWAYS CHOOSE'Write your own response' (examples below)
This works SO well yet is so simple.
Always write out awesome responses.
I know, I know
This would take a ton of time if you have to write out a great response every time but you only need to write an awesome response once.
Then save it to a word document so you can cut & paste that answer when the question is asked again by another girl, and it will be asked again.
And to make it even easier for you.
I created that word document for you. Here is The eDatingDoc Quick-Response Blueprint for eHarmony with the top questions women ask and example answers.
You can use the examples as a guide but definitely add responses that are authentic, true to your life & personality. Here are the examples in the download.
[fu]eHarmony Quick Questions & Answer Examples
If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?
►Start twerking and wait for the ladies to crowd around, oh yeah! (or not)
On Saturday night, would you rather go to:
►I like to change it up but I'm going Downtown for the Big Brothers Big Sisters charity event with some friends this Saturday. (It's a great cause – do good while having fun!)
Would you rather date someone who is:
►So damn amazing that every time you walk away I make a fist, reach up in the sky and say LORD help me! Then lean over to whoever is around and say, 'Yup – I'm dating her'.
Which sort of date sounds like the most fun to you?
►A comedy club sounds like a good idea. You know what makes the comedians even funnier?
Dating app arab. When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?
►I think personal space and having one's own time is important to making any relationship work.
If I had a bad day, what is the first thing you would do for me?
►I'd say awww baby, give you a big hug and kisses then do the sexy man shuffle in my speedos (Surprise!)
Your idea of a romantic time would be:
►A wine and Vosges chocolate picnic at the park in the evening.
Your idea of adventure is:
►Finding a hidden pirate ship in a cave 🙂
Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?
►Squeezing the toothpaste from the middle so it looks like it was attacked by a monkey.
[/fu]
Remember to be balanced!
As you can see, some of my answers are playful while others are straight forward. I can't emphasize this enough! If you're too playful your results will tank because she'll think you're childish. If you're too serious, you're results will tank because she'll think you take life too seriously and can't have fun!
Advanced Tip:
Have a conversation within the quick-question response area to build more of a connection.
Here's an example of what I mean:
Her interesting response to one of the quick-questions:
So when she sends me her quick questions, I made one response into a mini conversation by mentioning what she just wrote.
This builds more of a connection and makes the guided communication process even more interesting.
Making you the Most Interesting Man in the World… well at least on eHarmony.
Lesson #2: – eHarmony Makes or Breaks
The next step in the guided communication is the Makes or Breaks.
Not a big deal right?
el Wrong-o!
Pay attention because these can communicate a lot about you.
Especially the Breaks.
For example, I've seen guys select these breaks:
What does this communicate to the girl?
That you've probably been cheated on, you have trust issues because you were cheated on, there was probably a reason you were cheated on and she doesn't want to waste her time finding out why you were cheated on….
The best breaks to select are centered around the type of person she is internally not how she is with others.
There are a few exceptions.
Lesson #3: – eHarmony Dig Deeper Questions
This is the final step of the guided communication before you make it to eH mail.
You must type out your response to these questions.
Time to shine.
Most guys reply with boring answers at every step that scream 'I'm lazy and I'm boring!'
But you?
Hell to the NO!
Your answers will sometimes be silly… sometimes be intelligent and informative but never DULL & LAZY.
And just like the quick questions, save your responses (to the eDatingDoc eHarmony Quick-Response Blueprint) so you can just cut & paste that answer when the same question is asked again by another girl. And like I said before, it will be asked again.
To make that easier & clearer, I listed the top Dig Deeper questions women ask and included example answers to each of these.
If you didn't download it earlier, click here to get it.
[fu]eHarmony Dig Deeper Questions & eHarmony Response Examples
Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?
►Run around and knock a bunch of shit off all the shelves at Walmart while it's really busy and yell 'Whoaaaaaaa Yeaaahhhhhhhh.'
What do you think are the three best traits you have to offer a partner?
►A sexy sexy beast, laid back & logical. An example of my superior logic: Mom says, 'Alcohol is your enemy.' Jesus says, 'Love your enemy.' Case closed.
What is the most adventures thing you've done in the past year?
►I drove across Europe for 2 months checking out 11 countries. Awesome experience! Had a beer at the same bar the character Robin Hood was based on drank at in the year 1100. Pretty cool.
What are you looking for in a relationship partner?
►You have depth and a good heart, You don't get your happiness through material possessions, not to get too mushy but someone that's affectionate, you're balanced so enjoy nights out.
They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure, and how does it make you feel?
►Playing basketball with friends – It's this physical thing to push myself until I'm destroyed and I sleep like a baby and wake up rejuvenated. That and perfect Apple Pie.
What is the best thing an ex could say about you?
►That I changed her life for the better.
If they were making a movie about your life, what would it be called and which actor would play you?
►It would be called 'I've never done that – Let's do it!' of course it would be played by Brad Pitt.
Describe your parents' relationship with each other.
►They have an amazing relationship: My mom recently convinced my Dad to change the horn on the car so it makes gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.[/fu]
Lesson #4: – eHarmony Mail
I'm throwing in a secret right now for the guys that were not lazy and actually read this far.
I call this step 'Squash the Slackers'
I recommend combining the previous step with this step every single time.
So instead of sending the girl your 3 Dig Deeper questions within the normal eHarmony process. You instead skip to the eHarmony mail and send those same questions. (Example email below)
Women are very interested in your answers to their 3 questions. So you're still answering them but you're making it more interesting and doing something no other guy is doing. You're also shortening the long process and making that first email come very easily. Now you don't have to wonder how to start the conversation. This email does it for you.
Here is the sample eHarmony email to send when you skip this step:
Now you need to send the next few emails & get her phone number. This is where my 3×5 email system comes in. See item #2 in the quick-action homework below.
Your Quick-Action Homework for a great date
in less than 7 days on eHarmony:
- Sign-up to eHarmony – Here is the special registration page where you can try it for free. If you use this guide you will want to continue the membership so use this (2015 Discount Promo Code : EHCODE12)
- Follow this guide you just read when contacting the women you're interested in & you'll have a date with an amazing girl this week.
eHarmony is very committed to their matching system. The site takes the approach that it would be better to give its members no matches than to give them bad matches. eHarmony will even reject applicants that they feel they can't provide adequate matches to. In some ways, it's good to see eHarmony being so honest but it does cause problems. If you're not getting any matches, a number of things could be happening.
- When I used eHarmony, I was living in a small town but I had limited my searching radius to around 25 miles. Even though eHarmony has more visitors than any other dating service, most of these people do not live in the woods in western Pennsylvania!
- You might have a profile that is more difficult to provide matches for. It is likely that some personalities that are easier to match than others. If there are people with personalities that the service can't match at all, there are likely those who are easy to match and those that are hard to match. This isn't a bad thing, it just makes you unique.
- Your personal matching settings may be too strict.
What Can I Do To Get More Matches
Unfortunately, requesting for more matches when using the service will only work (at most) once a day. If you request more matches and are told there are no new matches, requesting more again the same day won't help. About the only thing you can do improve your matches is alter your matching preferences:
- You can increase the distance you're willing to meet someone from. Be sure you're willing to have a longer distance relationship if you change this because your new matches will be further away!
- You can change your personal preferences for your matches such as whether or not you are willing to date those with children.
- You can widen the age range of the people you'll be matched with.
- You can change the ethnicities you're willing to date.
- You could try to convince eHarmony to let you retake the personality test but you'll have to call them to do so. The longer it's been since you took the test, the more likely they are to allow this.
Eharmony No Response To Smile Free
There are some other areas you can change in your personal preferences. To view all of the settings click on 'My Settings' at the top of your eHarmony account and then select 'Match Settings'. Note: if you change these settings to be more inclusive, clicking the 'Find More Matches' can provide you more matches immediately.
I'm Still Not Getting Matches!
This is the situation I ran into. I really liked eHarmony but between my personality, my location and the distance I was willing to travel for a relationship, eHarmony wasn't able to provide me with an adequate number of matches. As I've said, I appreciate their honesty as it helped me make the decision to use another service where I could pick from all the members. I chose Match.com and eventually met my wife. You could also try another matching service like Chemistry.com or MatchMaker if you prefer the matching service model. I believe that eHarmony is the strictest when it comes to matching so these other services may be a little more match-count-friendly.
Eharmony No Response To Smile Back
Also, you could take a break from eHarmony and allow matches to accumulate. You can do this by ending your subscription but do not close your account. After a month or two, if you feel you've collected enough matches you could sign up again. Also, during this time where you're not paying for the service, you can still take advantage of eHarmony's free weekends. These can occur as often as once a month.
Unfortunately, eHarmony's greatest strength is often its biggest weakness. If you are unable to find a significant number of matches it's time to find another service. The service is excellent but if you're not being provided matches, it's not worth much at all.
Related posts:
Eharmony No Response To Smiles
